A little about me, why I write and how I got here:

Hello. First, thank you to each of you for following me, subscribing, reading, and providing feedback on my writing.

Second, why do I write the way I do? Well, we all have challenges for share of attention, limited time and energy. So, Tales On A Page, then Chapters On A Page, were born to provide short fiction (often with a twist in the tail) for anyone to read on a device of their choice within five minutes or so (and I’m slowly narrating them for my Spotify account).

I base my writing on things, events, and people who inspire me, as well as stories from my own past. This leads me across genres, but I mostly favour sci-fi, horror, and drama. More recently I created the ‘Pete, Tiger and Sarky Dialogue’ (PTSD) cartoon, which I upload three times a week here, on Medium, and Instagram. This is very much a humorous output for my specific interest in neurodivergence and mental health issues.

And so, thirdly, what about me? Well I’m biologically male, in my late 50s, British, but living in Belgium (thank the gods!). I’m ethnically half Scottish on my mother’s side, and half Indian (Gujarati) on my father’s side. I’m single, was married, and I had two children, but not any more. I was an undiagnosed autistic person until I was forty-nine. I’m a complete geek and attempt to keep at the cutting edge of all things tech. I’m a doom scroller and try not to obsess on the news as I used to. Oh, I adore cats, foxes, raccoons, and red pandas (in no order of preference).

Professionally I started out forty years ago as a student nurse in a provincial district NHS hospital in Kent, England. After qualifying and various specialties, I focused on HIV and viral hepatitis, especially hepatitis C as a nurse consultant. I left the NHS and then worked in the voluntary sector, a government advisor, and then pharmaceuticals and diagnostics. Eventually I moved on from hepatitis B and C to work in the domain of real world data and research. My career has taken me all over Europe, the Americas and some parts of Asia in increasingly international and global roles. My experience stretches from clinical, R&D, governmental affairs, health economics, strategy development, informatics, marketing and sales (off and online).

Then I had an existential breakdown in March 2023 and I have not worked since. All of the above and indeed my whole life was based on a lie. That lie was suppression and denial of the abuse I suffered as a child into adulthood. My parents were the ‘guards of my personal concentration camp’, and I believe I have experienced real evil. Some of this I have written about before on Medium already, but that’s the tip of the iceberg. I could talk about that abuse, the impact of it on my life, and those around me for years (and have in therapy), but suffice it to say I have chronic complex PTSD, traumatic amnesia, and I am coming to terms with my addictions.

I’m working to rebuild, and it took me quite some time to realise it was no longer about surviving, which I was, but choosing to live. It’s also not about going back, but going forward with the integration of some of yourself from the past, sure, but more of your authentic, real self. I also recognise that I am likely unrepairable, but focusing on how best I can live in a whole new life compared to the last fifty-odd years.

It’s a bit unfortunate to be now diagnosed with idiopathic sensorimotor peripheral neuropathy with Raynaud’s Syndrome, a rare neurological disorder, and I need further investigation as to why, and to understand how best to manage the condition, which is degenerative and progressive. It does mean my writing output will be less for an unspecified amount of time.

Writing is something I always wanted to do, but I suppressed this along with so many other aspects of my needs, wants and personality. Now it’s the key activity that helps keep me halfway rational and being ‘in the zone’ writing is remarkably therapeutic, not to mention it keeps me safe.

So, once again, thank you for reading my ramblings.

The very best wishes to you, and I hope you will continue to enjoy what I write!

Philosophus Umbrae